An ode to efficiencies

Who will notice another minehunter gone?
Sandown and Bridport, sold for a song.
Bicester and Berkeley, Inverness, too
When we’re short of a quid what must we do?
Pick on the humble MCMV, axe little ships nobody sees.

Cottesmore and Dulverton didn’t survive, another little cost-cutting drive.
Walney retired – still in her prime, rots in the basin with the passing of time.
Cromer and Brecon don’t sail anymore, expensive classrooms tied to the shore.

Now Atherstone and Quorn to be lost from the fleet, a sacrifice to the balance sheet.
Another will go in a year or two, nicely settled in the defence review.
Years ago we used to have Tons, there were plenty of sweepers way back then.
But look forward to the future, we’ll make do and mend.
Maybe the mine threat just went away or the ocean was bigger back in the day?

Gaps in the fleet, fitted-for-but-not-with, doing more with less and a half-empty mess.
Salami-sliced down to the bone, just think about carriers, try not to moan.
We need more efficiencies, you’ll understand.
Another young officer without a command, but jam tomorrow is promised and planned.

Don’t get confused by the number of ships,
Read my press release and read my lips.
We’re growing the Navy, repeat after me,
No, we’re not making cuts, only ‘adjustments’ you see.